So I haven’t written anything on here in awhile mainly because I’ve been busy. “But C, Ron Silliman always has a blog up every day!”. Maybe so, but I am not Ron Silliman, nor does Ron Silliman work a third shift job. So if I’m not posting enough just leave it alone, only about 7 of you come to this page anyway, and I even know that there isn’t much of substance on here, especially in terms of poetics. It’ll take time, but that’s all right, what doesn’t?

I’ve also been, aside spending 20 hrs awake (most of it being working hours) and 4hrs sleeping every day, working on getting my CDL Class A license. I got my permit on Thursday and Saturday I went up to the warehouse and practiced driving for the first time. Driving truck isn’t even half as easy as it looks. I can upshift, and downshifting isn’t too terribly hard either; backing up though, forget about it.

Also I’ve been trying to write every day I’m in the truck but I’m mainly spending 2 or 3 days spontaneously writing a few notebook pages of juxtapositions to go toward this long poem. It’s in it’s early stages so what’s great is I don’t have to worry about sticking to the plan and could just use what I have now as smaller poems. (As of right now this isn’t what I’m looking to do).

I’ve also been attempting to work on my harmonica skills. I really need to practice but it’s just an issue of time. I’ve also been working on creating some kind of chord progression that I can write some decent lyrics to.

Also, I tried Guinness last night for the first time with a cute supermodel friend of mine. I don’t think I got a good impression on it, but I was already full of liquor so I think that had something to do with it. We had some good conversation though, pretty complex stuff, good shit, felt good to have that kind of conversation.

I told her about something I haven’t told anybody really. We were talking about how growing up we always wanted what the other kids had, and because we didn’t have it we were separated from them. But after those middle/high school times are over, those kids are no better off and have more or less self-destructed. After that, I postulated these people we knew would only grow older and fall in behind everybody else. I quoted Thoreau to her, from Walden:

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation”.

I first read that in high school and that’s when I decided to start doing things I do now (writing and music) seriously. I told her that if I do these things then I don’t fall in to that category Thoreau was speaking about. The world doesn’t win. I win. Regardless if nobody reads or hears anything I do, I still have ceased to resign myself to that kind of lifestyle. And that is all that matters. Ever.

Stay Alive,

peace

Ca

-3:07pm, 7/20/2008